Thursday, May 3, 2012

Guess What...

I went to the doctor today and had my second Avastin treatment.  Yesterday I went in for my blood work,  and I couldn't help the heaviness of my heart.  I go every time and for the last 9 months I've gotten nothing but bad news.  They use me CA-125 to determine the course my cancer is taking and for what seems like forever my cancer was headed for a hostile takeover of my body. Three weeks ago I got the highest score I had received since I had surgery...3375. felt like a slap in the face.  I did it anyway...I took the treatment...I felt crummy...I went back three weeks later expecting another slap.  

It didn't come...I got a phone call number is 1713...that's right, damn near half my previous number.   I tried to be happy.  I tried to let go of all the bad  feelings.  I tried to dig up my positivity...but I didn't find it until today.  Today my doctor walked in and told me this was usually a stabilizing med...not a reduction med.  She was amazed by my number...she sounded hopeful for the first time in several visits. She admitted that we might have jumped the gun following a pain management track.  That made me feel like we might not have reached the end of the road yet.  My doctor was back on my side...I'm sure she never left, but I could feel her hope returning.  Somehow that brought me back.  It allowed me to hope that I can reclaim some sort of my life.  So that's really all I had to say.

To the Moon and Back my friends

With new hope I feel it is only proper to have rainbows!

I want to be this for halloween

a few more inches and this will be my hair...maybe

ummmm...who doesn't need a pom pom bra?!?