Just a helpful tip to my friendly readers. If anyone out there has made an investment in faux eyelashes...don't bother if you have a sad or emotional time up ahead. I have been so happy with my eyelashes. My first two types of chemo made me lose my hair...ALL my hair (eyelashes, eyebrows, etc.). I had a lash boutique here offer to do my lashes for free. If you are not a big raw ball of crying emotion totally go to the Lash Lounge and ask for Leah...she rocks.
I have a good reason for my emotional outburst. This is the time of year I have to reevaluate my job position. I have to look at how chemo has effected my body. I have to look at ho strong I feel. I have to find the best way not to be a HUGE suck on the budget of my workplace. I had no idea how my introspection would come with cancer. I was totally great knowing about the surface of my life...then in walks a big bunch of tumors and I have to totally reevaluate and realign my life based on a disease. I know I want to laugh more...see more beauty in the world (literally..flowers, nature and stuff), and be surrounded by quality people.
My last appointment with the oncologist we decided to finally try Avastin. I have tried cytotoxins. I have tried oral chemo. Now it is time for this. I go in tomorrow for my first treatment. I get to visit with my doctor...I will ask about why my body has morphed into the body of a middle aged woman in the period of 6 days. I will beg for something to keep the pain at bay so I can at least attempt to be useful in my job. I will mosey on over to the infusion room (I haven't seen this room since January)...have my infusion and pray that this is the one that kicks cancer the hell out of my body. I will come home and rest my middle aged body.
Those things are not so pleasant, but at the end of the week I have a party to enjoy. Family, friends, laughter and a very inappropriate, racy, sensual book. So if you aren't too busy send a shout out to God for me. Three weeks from now I will get my first CA-125 and find out how Avastin does destroying cancer cells.
to the moon and back friends...will post about the Dr. appt tomorrow.