Steroids

It has been over a year since I had to take steroids in any form other than IV.   Last week I stared a new regime for my chemo.  I have spent months feeling like I was just treading water...not actively battling the cancer...just holding up my arms keeping it at bay.  This new regime is me actively battling that cancer.  I am back on the front lone treatment so I am back on oral steroids.  Day before, day of,  and day after treatment...I get to take 8mg of dexamethasone 2x a day.  Let me just say I HATE steroids.  They upset my stomach....I've been told that they can't upset my stomach...because I am taking them to control nausea...but the steroids stop the crappy stomach feeling goes with it.  They also make me hungry as hell.   I mean constantly eating for 3 days hungry.  Funny thing is...I feel good to be back on the front line.  This way when my daughter asks if I'm terminal...and I have to say yes...I can ad that I doing EVERYTHING I can do to kick cancers ass!  When she sets a goal for me to still be around to see her first baby graduate from kindergarten, I can tell her that I will do my best and mean it.  I may have to feel crummy because I the drugs...I may have to feel crummy because of the steroids...I may gain in fat the 40 pounds of fluid I have managed to get rid of because of the eating...but I am actively fighting.
That's all...I'm back..and I'm fighting,
To the moon and back,
Sarah

Long Time no Type!

It turns out having chemo only once a month makes my life so much better.  I actually have energy.  I get out of bed.  I can breath easier.  I can be an effective mother who is actually on the clue bus.  The last one is the most valuable to me.  It feels somewhat foreign to be able to weigh in with a decent opinion when our teen gets a little rowdy.  I'll be honest I do still get cross more quickly than before.  I'm working on that.  It isn't her fault that chemo still makes me extra tired in the afternoons.  It isn't her fault that she doesn't talk as fast as I do (or as fast as her Mimi does)...so I need to practice listening to stories told slowly.  I need not to get exasperated if she starts telling a story in the middle of my favorite show (isn't that why there is a pause button).  So there it is...new chemo has lifted my quality of life to a place I have not seen in a very long time.  Oh I forgot to tell you....the chemo is Doxil...I was terrified of this drug for over 2 years.  If i was given a choice Doxil was always on the list and I ALWAYS chose something else.  I started this drug...I had one treatment (it did nothing...but allow my CA-125 to go up)...I had the second treatment (it started to work...like I said above... energy ... breathing ... mothering ... it all got a little bit better), so Doxil isn't all that bad...actually it is a little bit amazing.  So with my CA dropping...I am off to Austin this weekend.

To the and back my lovelies,
Sarah

here are some pics just for fun

I can open my mouth way bigger 
than you.....AHHHHHHHHHHH!

my precious pup looking so regal!

Robin signing autographs for her adoring 
public (or adoring aunts and cousins)

the pulse ox reader made my 
finger a little bit SAD.

new hats from Texas Oncology...I 
love that my lips match the hat.

Binoculars...or Alien eyes...nobody can really say!

Witness protection for dogs...
I think this could be perfect!

The picture shows how she gets table scraps...
you try saying no to those eyes.

Yarn bombed bicycle

Many...many...childhood hours drawn out in sidewalk chalk...thank you street artist!

Tiny Batman can beat down any foe...
with any number of heads

another slightly smallish batman

Batman exploring the pulmonologist's model

This is the trunk after The Bug spent 3 weeks taking apart our organizational efforts...ahh camp!

Happy Birthday to Me

Yup...I made it another year.  I thought I was turning 36...but my parents let me know that I am actually turning 37.  I swear the year of Taxotere and Carboplatin I lost time.  I have been a year behind for my last 2 birthdays.  No matter...I am turning 37...and that feels good.  
Tonight I will be enjoying the company of my family and friends in the only way I know how...surrounded by rainbows.  I have tried to pinpoint when my love affair with rainbows began.  I collected stickers as a child and I was always so so happy when I would get a new rainbow sticker.  I liked them even better than the scratch and sniff stickers I got for having a fit free allergy shot (I didn't have very many scratch and sniff stickers.)  
Seeing a rainbow in the sky makes me giddy and the few times I have been lucky enough to see a double rainbow I thought I might pass out on the spot...it's a good thing I did't pass out because I saw one of my double rainbows while driving.  I love making rainbow cakes where the icing is plain old white but the cake inside is all the colors of the rainbow.  
If I take the time to organize anything...I organize in rainbow order (nail polish, clothes in my closet, colored pencils, stuffed animals, etc.)  
The Bug insisted I get a pillow pet.  She was convinced my life cold not possibly be complete without a pillow pet.  So for about a year I told her the only pillow pet I wanted was the moose.   The moose had been discontinued, so it was a good way for me to get out of getting a pillow pet without hurting "The Bug's" feelings.  Then we were walking through the mall and there it was the only pillow pet that could ever hope to trump moose...rainbow...tie dye...unicorn.  I mean really...it is like the pillow pet people opened up my brain and took three of my favorite things and mashed them together.  so now I have that pillow pet and if I get scared she makes it a little better.  
I also love how many of my friends are also enamored with all things rainbow.  I guess we rainbow folks tend to seek each other out.  At least 2 of my closest friends have the same OCD tendencies as I do when it comes to the rainbow.  There is an order to a rainbow in the sky...so there should be an order to all other rainbow things.  If I find something rainbow hued but the colors are in the wrond order or there is a color missing I keep on walking.  It seems silly, but his name is ROY G. BIV.  Not YOG R. VIB or any other silly variation.  
So there you have it...one of the many quirks I have picked up along the way during my 37 on this planet.  Hopefully I will have another 37 to pick up many many more odd little things that make me unique.

To the Moon and back my friends,
Sarah

Tiny Bat...no Tiny Robin visits the Arboretum

About a month ago we (Mimi, The Bug, and I) made the trek to Dallas to spend the night with my Aunt (Big Red), and visit the Arboretum.  It was the beginning of Spring and the Arboretum had over 500,000 tulips on the grounds.  I realized when we arrived in Dallas that Tiny Batman had not made the trip.  Luckily my cousin has a little boy who LOVES superheroes and he had a Tiny Batman, Tiny Robin and Tiny Superman of his own.  He said we could borrow them for the trip.  I thought that was very sweet, but I wasn't sure he would remember the next morning.  He did remember and was so excited every time I took a picture of Tiny Robin enjoying things at the Arboretum.  

UM....I'm feeling a little like lunch...made of metal...silly superhero!

UM....little boy...young man...can a tiny superhero
get a helping hand? Where are you going?!? 

Help Help...I being eaten...oh wait this lion is stone like the frog right?!?

Tiny Robin invited his pal Tiny Superman to join us for some queso and a Topo Chico!

It was a little windy, but the sun was out and the temperature was very mild, so this was an amazing way to kick off our Spring Break.   I spent some time out of my chair getting down on the same level as all the gorgeous flowers.  I realized that in almost every tulip bed there were daffodils.  Aunt Sherry tells me that they do this on purpose to help with pollination.

Look the bug has a smile and it still works!

 

My mom has a Camelia bush at home and the blooms always surprise her
because they pop up before anything else is in bloom.

I borrowed these muppet gloves from BIg Red/Cici

The Bug....turned into a cat!

work those glasses Miss Soph

Little Red aka the Maa, and The Bug

We wrapped everything up at the end of the day having AMAZING tacos at a restaurant called Torchy's Tacos!!!!  If you have one of these anywhere close to you...don't walk...run...don't get it to go...eat there.  If you are a queso lover...definitely try the queso.

This collage photo says it all...it was a Damn Good day!

To the moon and back my lovelies,
Sarah