Sunday, January 1, 2012

Thankfulness...Day 121

Happy New Year everybody.  2011 was a tough year in some ways, but in others I have been so blessed.  I have been able to watch my daughter and mother start to repair their relationship.  There was a time that I thought they would never know the other in the same way I do.  I see the wonder...imagination and whimsy in my daughter.  I also see the undying love...selfless generosity and amazing sense of humor in my mother.  Finally...they are enjoying these traits in each other. 
My treatment process has been long and arduous in places.  However without the length and uncertainty of this process I would never have been able to give in to a higher power.  I have heard several times..."You plan...God laughs."  I am truly starting to embrace this quote.  Some days this works better for me than others.  I like answers and with cancer the only definite you get is "NO."  You get an answer when something doesn't long as it's working just keep plugging along.  2012 marks a start to another unknown.  I will be using a drug not yet approved for ovarian cancer...and possible getting another experimental drug...possibly getting the placebo.  I read all the important parts of the "informed consent" and avoided the paged of side effects.  Much like the side effects listed on a package of Advil...NO ONE would ever take the pill for a headache.  I figure I can be informed enough to know that what we have done so far hasn't it is time for something new.
2012 is the Bug's first year as a teen...hopefully we will navigate those murky waters as well as we have navigated our lives thus far.  We scoff at normal...Norman Rockwell may not have painted a portrait resembling our family...but it works for us.  
So to sum up...2012 is the year I hopefully surrender to God's plan...enjoy parenting a everyday ...and enjoy the ride.  
to the moon and back my friends,

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