Thursday, October 20, 2011 84

Ummmm....I think it might say something about me...that I have been thankful for my therapist so many times since June.  I don't I am thankful for the good doctor...again.  I spent most of today overflowing with mad.  I mean I really couldn't get a handle on it...I was just mad...very, very, very mad.  I knew I had an appointment today after I did my blood work...but I really didn't want to go.  I thought I was too mad.  Then I realized I needed to keep that appointment...I needed to see my doctor, and tell him I was mad.  So I went...I let all the mad spill out...all over the one point I actually heard my voice echo in the room.  I feel so lost when I am so filled with mad...I hate being feels so pointless...I lecture my mom on letting go of gets you nowhere and fast.  But I can't do it for myself...once I get to that mad place I can't let it go...I just stew...look at my feet...try not to let my mad show...but I also suck at being fake and masking my real emotions.  Well the doctor gave me some ways to make this better, but I think for now I am content with getting rid of some of the mad.  I'm not choking on the anger anymore.  I look at that as a small victory.
to the moon and back my friends

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