I made a video that I will link below. It is all about positivity. For the last week I have struggled with the positive side of my life. I can usually find a joke hiding in whatever is holding me down. Last week nothing seemed funny. I was crabby with the people who love me the most...and I was hypersensitive with the Bug. My chemo has made me tired...really tired. The blood cells that help my blood clot are low...so if I blow my nose too forcefully I get a lovely nose bleed. I am bruising like a peach, and my stomach didn't start feeling better until yesterday. Even now...I am struggling with digging a joke out of that steaming pile of YUCK!
Whatever...I am not making this blog for pity...it is to remember there is ALWAYS a shovel. Sometimes my hole feels too deep and too dark to dig my way out. This week was one of those times. Then I found my shovel...family...my family will always be my shovel. It is impossible to be sad around my niece and nephew. They are 4 and 18 months and filled with the type of energy possessed only by small children and maybe adults on meth. No matter...They helped me come out from under my rock. I might have needed to go to bed after each visit, but I wouldn't trade any piece of this weekend for the world.
So in summary...if you can't find a way to pull your chin up...let it stay down for a little bit. I'm not talking about a full blown pity party...but not ALWAYS having your own drum out to lead a parade is just fine.
For now I am I surrounded by family and I am soaking up all the love and laughter I can handle. That way, maybe I can avoid a bed ridden pity party. Have fun this weekend...do something you wouldn't usually do.
To the Moon and Back
Sarah
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