Sunday, August 26, 2012

When to push forward...

when to pull back.  This constant battle...I think sums up teen parenting.  I want to give the Bug some independence, but I also want to help steer her away from scary bad things.  She started a new school last week and it is so different not being in the same building with her.  Our first year here...if she needed a pencil...forgot her lunch...needed help with her math (yeah right)...I was there.  For her 5th level year I was out of commission, but my aunt and my mother were there to help her.  Sixth level...she started to pull away.  She would vacillate between wanting to be able to blame me when something was missing...and pushing me away when I would try to step in to help.  She wanted me as a scapegoat for mistakes, but wanted to bask in the glory of successes on her own.  I was used to a level of comfort and a level of intel from her teachers.  Sometimes I think they might over share...because I was in the building.  The line between peer and parent gets VERY blurry when people are colleagues.

Like I said this year starts a brand new chapter.  The Bug chose a summer reading book about a girl that moves around quite a bit with her Dad. With every move "Beth" recreates herself, and starts over.  The Bug told me she really identified with "Beth."  So I get that she wants to start fresh with her new school.  She gets twitchy when my Mom and I ask questions about her day.  I know now that the school website kicks serious heiney, so I really don't have to ask her very many questions. Everything is on the website for me to see.  I had a choice to get progress reports...daily...weekly...or not at all.  The lesson plans for every class are posted, along with the homework. There is a roster for each class.  I almost felt a little intrusive...finding out so much information without exchanging a word with the Bug.

The biggest struggle right now is finding balance.  If I show up too early to pick her "embarrasses her...I mean I'm piddling MOM and you are right there!!!" Well pardon me.  Notes come home about her needing a folder for a couple of classes...try touching base about the folders. "MOOOOOOOOOM please don't come to my school and ask a bunch of questions.  I have it under control." She had homework over the weekend to finish, and I let her take her time over a couple of days getting it finished.  She comes bursting into my room..."MOOOOOOM what in the world is a Fire Blanket?!?"  I asked her what she thought it might be.  "Well....I guess it might be a blanket to help with fires?"  She was willing to accept help on that one.  I think I will be executing this intricate balancing act for quite a bit longer, but I know it could be sooooooo much worse.
why exactly does the boy HAVE to dress up like a girl?
Vintage illustrations....sooooo funny.

Any hints to raising a teenage girl?
To the moon and back,


1 comment:

  1. I'm no help, but it's interesting to see what's in store for me in a few years.